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Thursday, February 16, 2006

fairytale

fairytale
This photograph reminds me of a fairytale. I am not exactly sure why but my first thought is Alice in Wonderland. Nonetheless, I really like it. :) Her first pigtails. I'm sorry that I'm always having to tell you I'm a nanny like it's the first time but I always have new readers and don't mean to confuse them on their visit. What I haven't told you is that this wee one's Mommy is having a baby. Next Thursday. So many feelings and nerves- I've never had this type of relationship with someone having a baby that would effect my life in the way it will. I didn't start working for them until Carmen was 3 months old. In a way it sort of feels like I'm having a baby next week- which I know sounds odd- but I spend so much time with them. I'm feeling a bit anxious- not knowing what to expect- how he'll be, how Carmen will react, what my responsibilities will be, will I love him like I love Carmen? The last point is where I really differ from the parents. As parents I'm sure they already love the baby- already have a connection. I don't have that. He's going to be new to me and it's a honestly a little frightening. Wow, next week! Eeee!

4 Comments:

Blogger Joleen's Mom said...

I never thought about it that way, but you're absolutely right! In a sense you are having a baby next week. I think it's possible that what you're feeling could be very similar to what I was feeling during our adoption process. All of a sudden, I had another child. One I had no prenatal bonding with; one I had no bonding with at all. Then she was there. I was supposed to love her from day one. It's very hard. Love requires a building of a relationship. I loved the thought of her right away, but to say I loved her right away, I cannot. Now, although i do love her, I admit it's different than with the girls I actually carried. I hoped it wouldn't be different, and I certainly try to not make it different, but the truth is....it is. I know with Viktor it will be a little different, as he's not yours. But you love Carmen as if she was. I know you, you'll love him too. The love you feel for him will never be the same as it is for your first~! (The funny thing being that she's not even YOUR first!) I kind of think of her as your first, too! there is a special feeling reserved for your "first born". You'll find out what I'm talking about the second you discover you're carrying your first child. Nothing in the world matches that feeling. I love all my girls, and I loved being pregnant, but with the first, everything is just.....new! I can't wait for you to experience that. What joy I will have watching you. XOXOXO

12:28 PM  
Blogger *aimee* said...

I really like that picture too. The babe is oh so precious. I have to agree with mom on so many levels. First of all, I never thought of it the way you do, but it totally makes sense. The ironic thing is that I have been a little nervous for both you and the babe. I know things will work out but I certainly understand the mixture of emotions. Good luck!! Keep us posted...we're all involved and pullin' for you now!!!

5:14 PM  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

love those sweet pigtails!

11:23 AM  
Blogger Simply Me said...

Hey Sweetie. I put myself in your heart and emotionally the only child you have known in this family is Carmen. I totally understand your feelings of anxiety regarding the upcoming birth of your friends/employer's newborn. You have put your soul, heart and total emotions into caring for this precious little gem and NOW here comes a "diamond in the rough". Include Carmen in all phases of communication with the new arrival and she will feel like a "big sister" in no time. Good luck and take it one day at a time!
Blessings,
Grams

1:20 PM  

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